i want

to show you the social butterfly that i am
i am not always so shy
most of the time i am pretty ridiculous..




you = everyone in general
its the way i write, if it confuses you i'm sorry. (not really)

but it's the damn point of it all.
it shouldn't make sense.....

only our emotions are the true cause of all our actions
even if the actions turn into a reaction.
it doesn't matter if the action or reaction was real in the first place
it's up to you to take your time and look deep enough into the emotion.
because the emotion was the only thing that was real.


did it make sense to you?
i just made it up, and want to see if people think i'm just an idiot or
am i actually getting somewhere?



well the way i feel is real.
and right now i feel tired -__-

HAHAHAHA!!

funny conversation #1

i was talking to this kid mike who sits in front of me in Spanish
i think he's a sophomore... well he has a hump, and here is our conversation today...

ME: hey mike! its Tuesday, you know what that means right?
MIKE: uhhh no.
ME: Taco Tuesday!!
MIKE: uhhh whatever..
ME: (angry grunt)
MIKE: WELL TOMORROW IS HUMP WEDNESDAY, I WIN!

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHA

why can't there be more people like mike??
hahahah

not good

not feeling too good.
but i am very happy right now!!
everything feels in its place now:D

torn

i want life to be simple.
i have to make my own happiness. no one is going to hand it to me.
and im fine with that. it will not be tooo easy or too hard i know that for certian.
i also would like to share some of my love and happiness with..
FOR EELS!!!
finally, i don't care what people think about me.
i am a big brave dog.

i got chu.

sadies is coming up.
and i am not shy
i will get the guy.
hahaha
life is rolling along smoothly, except for the few difficulties
school throws at me.
i cant wait untill this summer. <3

how come i end up where i started?
how come i end up where i belong?
one by one......

the artist sings to me every day.
when i hear the music.... it opens my mind.
i can imagine a little something ripping my chest open to so many emotions.
the feeling is more than intense.
beautiful.

promise me readers:
you will live
you will feel
you will love
something or someone needs you:D
i know i need you.

ahhhhhhhhhhh i need to decide soon

Fuck friends man.
i cant trust anyone any more....
only the ones that have proved themselves trustworthy
can be kept.
but the rest... why try?
i always envision myself wondering from place to place.
but i am completely happy with this wondering.
i wish i could start off new somewhere else. a high school close to home.
if those schools are roosevelt in corona or, SAE in pomona; or wherever....
i don't care. but i really want to attend a school i feel normal at.
where i can walk to school, to do after school things.
hang out with my friends everyday after school....
i want to live normal but not be normal.
ever since third grade i have been deprived of the privilege.
one of my greatest strengths is being comfortable with change.
and when i am in a routine, i go into this downward spiral.
as in past blogs can show.
i would hurt so many friends if i just left.
but i don't need people in the way and my family would prosper over this decision.
don't worry about me, i find truth and happiness in everything.

just for you

i am at a loss for words right now, this weekend i plan to catch everyone up and inform you more about my life. I also want to put my link back up on myspace again. i think it is safe to do so:D