not good

not feeling too good.
but i am very happy right now!!
everything feels in its place now:D

torn

i want life to be simple.
i have to make my own happiness. no one is going to hand it to me.
and im fine with that. it will not be tooo easy or too hard i know that for certian.
i also would like to share some of my love and happiness with..
FOR EELS!!!
finally, i don't care what people think about me.
i am a big brave dog.

i got chu.

sadies is coming up.
and i am not shy
i will get the guy.
hahaha
life is rolling along smoothly, except for the few difficulties
school throws at me.
i cant wait untill this summer. <3

how come i end up where i started?
how come i end up where i belong?
one by one......

the artist sings to me every day.
when i hear the music.... it opens my mind.
i can imagine a little something ripping my chest open to so many emotions.
the feeling is more than intense.
beautiful.

promise me readers:
you will live
you will feel
you will love
something or someone needs you:D
i know i need you.

ahhhhhhhhhhh i need to decide soon

Fuck friends man.
i cant trust anyone any more....
only the ones that have proved themselves trustworthy
can be kept.
but the rest... why try?
i always envision myself wondering from place to place.
but i am completely happy with this wondering.
i wish i could start off new somewhere else. a high school close to home.
if those schools are roosevelt in corona or, SAE in pomona; or wherever....
i don't care. but i really want to attend a school i feel normal at.
where i can walk to school, to do after school things.
hang out with my friends everyday after school....
i want to live normal but not be normal.
ever since third grade i have been deprived of the privilege.
one of my greatest strengths is being comfortable with change.
and when i am in a routine, i go into this downward spiral.
as in past blogs can show.
i would hurt so many friends if i just left.
but i don't need people in the way and my family would prosper over this decision.
don't worry about me, i find truth and happiness in everything.